790 Days till the End

21Oct10

it’s been the kind of day that makes me part incredulous, part amused, and part more determined than ever to succeed against the odds.

You see, today i discovered deep resentment from someone who is a distant acquaintance to me…at most and you have to think why would an acquaintance so distant be… so-ooo filled with hate toward someone they barely see.

I mean, all i did was come out and support the bar they promote a few times… we friended on facebook and i left some comments about pics and events and such. I photographed a couple of his events on my own time and dime… staying involved and thinking we were all having a good time. Oh, wait, i also started promoting my own events. Could that be my crime? Could he be threatened by me and my ideas this time? Is it possible that someone who’s been a fixture of their community for years be threatened by a newcomer trying to do the same thing? What a small dick he must have to be such a wuss… I’ve known women who have more backbone in them while sleeping in the nude.  All I know is that I keep getting event invites from him once (sometimes more) per week, and even though I come out and support his when I can, he has never … not once… come out to see any of my gigs. So, feeling particularly cheeky upon receiving another invite, I posted the following comment on the wall of his profile, just playin’:

Hey Gus, if you’re gonna be spamming me with events every week, maybe you should check out one of mine some time. just sayin.

I was expecting some sort of playful retort back … or bull along the lines of… hey, been meaning to, but busy… blah blah        but noooo … here’s what I get:

if you have a grievance call me or email me privately.

i see you unfriended me. sorry you beat me to it.

good riddance to you and your “events” no one is interested in

Woah! Back off buddy… That’s no small amount of resentment coming out of the blue. Talk about airing grievances. I think you should have said something a while back instead of letting it brew. I mean, it’s not healthy to carry this type of rage… it ruins one’s mood and appearance and then, even that cool hat you’re counting on for legitimacy just looks like a dunce cap. Threatened much? Why are my events in quotation marks? They were events. I have the pictures to prove it, i think as i snicker to myself, but i guess if someone doesn’t go to them it’s natural they could make a mistake.

So here’s what I think really happened here.

Astoria is a small town. And as far as entertainment is concerned, a little desperate at times. I’m talking about certain individuals who do not understand the principle of community, kindness, generosity, and the true nature of art–they see their position as event managers to have the power of gods…. to make or break careers as if they were puff daddy or JayZ… and they expect the reverence and respect that such a role deserves in their eyes… except they don’t see the absurd perversion of their sightline. They want people to come in and kiss their ass. Play up their egos pretending to have a blast. Well, guess what GUS… you’re just another human in my eyes. Always have been, and besides….  your name rhymes with PUS.

I think that somewhere along the line, right after the first time we met. When i played that gig in your venue with no lights on the “stage” and I came off it wondering how it went, and I asked you “did it go okay?”  and you said “do you think it went okay?” I was taken aback because what type of fucked up answer is that. I’m an artist who came out to play my first show, and you can’t even give me some feedback, y’know? Besides the few people who live round the block, does anyone even know about your bar or care who you are?

Delusions of grandeur, you’re nothing to me, i’ve seen plenty your type. You’re mad cause you’re ugly and can’t get it up. You’re getting old and let’s face it not quite… what you were or thought you’d be at this point in your life. And you’re wearing that stupid hat like it does anything to cover that misery up. You wake up every morning hating yourself, for still being here doing the same boring crap. And on top of that (and having no hair) no woman is interested in being your mare. Is that it? you’re lonely? has it been too long? is that why you’re on permanent PMS and scorn? Whatever the reason you turned out this way, your ass is looking sorry i have to say. Your words have more to do with you than me, I’ll go on doing my events happily. Momentum is growing i’m loving my life, while you’re back there sulking and eating my dust.

And all of you out there trying to do great things, remember that assholes will try to interfere. To dampen your light and diminish your will only because their dreams failed to fulfill. So when you encounter such persons remember, keep doing your thing while they rot in their chamber.

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